Who Are You?

Hog Butcher for the World,
Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat,
Player with Railroads and the Nation's Freight Handler;
Stormy, husky, brawling,

Fierce as a dog with tongue lapping for action, cunning as a savage pitted against the wilderness,
    Bareheaded,
    Shoveling,
    Wrecking,
    Planning,
    Building, breaking, rebuilding,

Laughing the stormy, husky, brawling laughter of Youth, half-naked,
    sweating, proud to be Hog Butcher, Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat,
    Player with Railroads and Freight Handler to the Nation.
  Really?

Well, we've cut down a bit on the hog butchering.
Why are You Called the Lovelab?

Ah, now there's a tale. A story that goes back to a hardscrabble farm in Nebraska, back to a man, a woman, a boy, and one of those small dogs, we don't remember its name, that suddenly barks for no reason at all.

  You Mean a Cardigan Welsh Corgi?

No, it has a longer coat and is more like a terrier.
  How About a Cairn Terrier?

Well, like that, except it's usually smaller, and has a prominent chin with hair-tuft and mustache.
  Oh, I Know, I Know. It's an affenpinscher.

Right.
What is the Lovelab's Sign?

Post No Bills.
What is the Lovelab's Favorite Color?

Infra-red. At Easter, when the Lovelab wears an eye shadow in that color (in the hue, "gopher in a blender", by Faduccio of Milan), you can see right through the Lovelab's head.
What is the Lovelab's Favorite Indian Restaurant in Cleveland?

Cafe Tandoor. Expect a 30 minute wait after giving your order.
What is the Word that Means a Pathological Wish to be Enclosed in a Small Space?

That would be claustrophilia.
Why are Our Questions in Capitol Letters and in Bold? Frankly, it's Somewhat Unsettling.

Stendhal, at the beginning of the fifth chapter of The Charter House of Parma, notes that "The whole of this adventure had not lasted a minute. Fabrizio's wounds were nothing."
  Oh.